Belmary House 5 Page 19

  “Please, Maria,” he said raggedly. “Let me make things up to you. Can’t we start again? I never meant for you to be so confused about my situation. I didn’t know what people were saying or how they got such notions in their heads.”

  Maria shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. Ariana thought Owen must be working his spell from the befuddled look on her friend’s face. Former friend. She didn’t think she could ever properly face her again after this.

  “I’m not sure,” Maria said. “I don’t think it was anyone other than you who ever told me anything about your situation.”

  “But I still love you, Maria,” he said through clenched teeth. Ariana saw beads of sweat spring out on his brow. He was working harder than he ever had, trying to erase Maria’s memories. “You still love me too, don’t you?”

  “I- I can’t love someone who would lie to—”

  With a sharp cry, Maria clutched her head and tipped forward, falling face first out of her chair. She hit the floor with a dull thud and lay still.

  “Stop!” Ariana dropped to the floor, turning Maria onto her back. “Stop doing whatever you’re doing. You’re hurting her.”

  Owen knelt by her side. “I didn’t mean to. Nothing came to me so I tried a different spell. One I just learned. I don’t know what went wrong.”

  She wanted to hit him for trying out an untested spell when his emotions were so high. Shoving him out of the way, she patted Maria’s cheeks, harder and harder until she was slapping her. She leaned over, trying to feel a puff of breath against her face.

  “God, Owen, she’s not breathing.”

  ***

  “Do something,” he begged.

  Something was wrong. He didn’t know what was happening. It was as if something had control of his hands, sending hexes toward Maria like sparks jumping out of a fire. Ariana clapped her hands over his, trying to still his flying fingers.

  “Don’t do a thing,” she said. “Maybe pray. No, don’t even do that.”

  She looked at him fearfully, and his heart sank. She had looked at him that way before and he never understood it. But now he knew he wasn’t in control. That’s what frightened her and now it frightened him. Something was making him harm Maria, the love of his life. His heart pounded as if it wanted to break free of his ribs, but when he leaned across Maria’s chest, he didn’t hear or feel a single thump.

  “Ariana, do something, use your healing spells.”

  She shoved him away and spoke some familiar incantations. It was what she used to clear up the boys’ bruises after the citrus fight. How could it bring Maria back? Ariana sobbed and tried another spell, looking at him with wild eyes.

  “They’re all for cuts or bruises,” she wailed. “Maybe broken bones. I can’t— she’s—”

  What? What was she? He stared at Ariana, his eyes blurring with tears. Was she giving up? He couldn’t heal worth beans. And worse, he was the one who put Maria in such a state, trying to erase the bad memories of him lying to her. Trying to layer one hex over another. No. She wasn’t gone. She couldn’t be.

  Out of spells, Ariana leaned over her motionless friend and pounded on her chest with both her fists clasped together. It was the strangest thing Owen had ever seen and he thought Ariana might have gone mad.

  “What are you doing?” Owen said, trying to push her away. “You’ll crush her.”

  She kicked at him, continuing her feverish pumping. “She’s dead anyway,” she gritted out. Tears sprang to her eyes and she pushed harder and faster. “My mum taught me this. We have to get her heart started again.”

  Owen stood, pacing and moaning. Hours seemed to pass but he knew it was only seconds since she started. Owen wanted to pray, but Ariana had told him not to. Who did she think he would beseech? A dark thought struck him. Who would answer? Was that what she feared? Were there really others? Imagining that someone or something else had been working through him all these years and it wasn’t only his own powers made him fall to his knees, the painful realization too much to bear.

  “Owen, you have to go find my mum,” Ariana gasped, tiring from the exertion. “We can’t do this on our—” A loud sucking sound tore from Maria’s lips and she convulsed into a stiff arch that knocked Ariana onto her backside. “Oh, thank God,” Ariana sobbed, seeing Maria’s chest rising and falling.

  Maria’s eyes fluttered open, staring at the ceiling. Owen crawled over to her pale form and leaned over to look. Everything seemed to slow down as he stared into her lazily blinking eyes. Eyes that went on too far, saw too much. He shook his head and scuttled back, rubbing at his crawling skin.

  “It’s not her,” he said.

  Ariana heard the ice cold fear in his voice and also moved away from Maria. “What?” she demanded.

  He was too afraid to speak and only shook his head.

  “What happened?” Maria whimpered. She rolled to her side and clutched her chest. “It hurts.”

  Ariana reached over and shook him. He risked another glance at Maria. Nothing was wrong with her, except perhaps that she’d just been repeatedly struck in the chest.

  “I’m sorry, but you fainted and er, fell against the settee in an odd way,” Ariana explained shakily, helping Maria to get up. “Here, take some tea. I’ll call the physician to come at once.”

  The doors burst open and his mother and Aunt Tilly rushed in, looking harried. Uncle Julian and his father were close behind.

  “What’s all the commotion?” Aunt Tilly asked. “We heard shouting all the way in the music room.”

  Did one of them shout? It was possible. It was possible he screamed his fool head off. He had been scared enough. He took several deep breaths and rested back on his heels. The past few minutes were like a bad dream he could hardly recall now that it was over. Only the dark feelings from it lingered.

  “Maria had a bit of a fainting spell,” Ariana explained. “I was about to send for the physician.”

  “No, I’m certain I’ll be fine. My carriage is waiting.” Maria looked around, settling her gaze on him. She gasped slightly and gave him a short nod. “I didn’t expect to see you, Owen.”

  He looked at her with longing and finally returned the nod.

  “I’m sorry,” was all he could say.

  She shook her head as if she wasn’t sure what he was talking about, then wandered out of the room, not even acknowledging the adults.

  Probably fearing Maria was irrevocably broken, Ariana ran to tell a servant to make sure she got into her carriage all right. He stood up, realizing the book was in full view. He quickly tried to hex it to seem like a bowl of fruit but a sharp pain ran up his arm. Perhaps he was the one who was broken.

  Looking up, he saw all of them staring at it. He knew at once they recognized it by the horror on their faces. Now he had an inkling as to why they might have hidden it in the first place. He’d been playing with fire all these years and he nearly killed someone he loved. She would never forgive him now. She acted like she barely knew him.

  Ariana returned to a stark silence enveloping the room. Both their parents were pale and wide eyed. Not realizing why they were so upset, she hurried to reassure them.

  “Maria came over so I could apologize,” she said. “And she must have not been eating properly …” she trailed off when everyone continued to stare at the tea table as if transfixed. “What is it?” she asked, trying to edge around his mother to see what had turned them all to stone.

  “That’s what I want to know,” Aunt Tilly said, hysteria rising in her voice. She pointed a shaking finger. “What is that?”

  Ariana squeezed around his mum and stopped, as frozen as the rest of them. Owen slowly moved to pick up the massive spell book, trying once again to disguise it as something else.

  “Stop,” his father boomed. “Stop what you’re doing and step away from that book.”

  Aunt Tilly pulled Ariana away from it as if it was a viper.

  “And tell us where in the hell it came from.”
<
br />   ***

  Owen finally found the courage to look up at everyone. His parents looked horrified. Ariana’s parents looked much the same and Ariana looked as if she would have fled already if her mother didn’t have a tight hold on her arm.

  He felt completely empty. Drained from top to toe. The easy power he could always call up had deserted him. He couldn’t make Maria forget or forgive. He had almost killed her trying. A shiver coursed through his body and he looked at the floor as if she was still there.

  Ariana had told him to stay quiet, do nothing, but he had called out to those others who always served him so well the past eight years. Ever since he found the book, he hugged his power tight like a security blanket. But now he was bereft. He failed and they failed to answer him.

  Or rather, they did answer him, but not the way he wanted. The thing he saw behind Maria’s eyes when she first opened them was a thing he never wanted to see again. He shook his head, trying to figure out what to do. Maria was fine. It must have been his frightened imagination playing tricks on him. What wasn’t his imagination were the four angry adults staring at the book as if it was the very gateway to hell.

  “One of you answer me,” Aunt Tilly said shrilly. “Where did that thing come from?”

  She glared at Uncle Julian as she said it, squeezing Ariana’s arm so hard she made a noise.

  Owen caught Ariana’s eye and barely shook his head. “I found it,” he said. “In the old wine cellar at home. You tell me what it is,” he countered, staring his parents down, then his aunt and uncle.

  “It’s nothing you need to concern yourself with,” his father said.

  At which point Owen laughed. He’d simply had enough.

  “Really?” he asked incredulously. “You have nothing else to say for yourself? After all, Father, your name is in there. Along with your first wife’s name. And you, Aunt Tilly. There’s mention of you as well. None of you have a thing to say about it?”

  Tilly groaned and took Ariana’s shoulders, shaking her. “Did you touch it? Did you look inside?”

  “I was going to show it to her but then Maria arrived,” Owen said. “She doesn’t know anything about it.”

  If she didn’t follow his lead he was going to kill her. She gave him one pained glance before shaking her head.

  “Wh-what is it? Why are you all so upset about some old book?”

  “Ariana, leave the room,” her father bellowed. He rarely raised his voice to her and with a small squeak, she scurried away from her mother. At the door, she turned and cast one last worried look at Owen but he dropped his gaze. “Go,” Uncle Julian shouted. She went.

  As soon as she was gone his mother burst into tears. He’d made her cry again but right now he was too angry at all of them to care.

  “This is what Cousin Sorin wanted to tell me about when he first visited, isn’t it?

  He wanted to throw it in their faces that he didn’t just found the book, that he had it for eight years and had been practicing under their noses all that time.

  “Son, we should talk about that,” his father said. “But not now.”

  “Why not now? Why not back then? I heard him say I was powerful, and guess what? I am. Why would you hide this from me? This thing that’s in my blood and lets me do dangerous and terrible things. Wonderful things, too. But I can’t control it. Not anymore. Maybe I never could. I —” he paused, the idea only just coming to him. But it was the right idea. The only way he could properly learn to harness his powers. “I’m going to Moldavia. Unless you admit you know about this and help me, then I’m going to be with people who can.”

  “Owen, dearest, it’s too dangerous. You should forget you ever found that foul thing.” His mother could barely speak through her tears. “Wait. Did you say you’ve done things? You’ve tried things from that book?”

  He barely refrained from rolling his eyes and still his father looked like he might strike him. Uncle Julian laid a hand on his arm to stop him.

  “Perhaps he has the right of it, wanting to go to your family, Kostya,” he said.

  “No,” his mother cried. “It’s too far. And the things they did to Kostya. That wicked curse that stole Lucy. They’ll do it to him.”

  “That was Grandmother,” his father said, looking pained.

  Owen knew Lucy was his half-sister who died before he was born. But he didn’t know she was killed due to some curse. His disgust with them rose. If they had been honest from the start perhaps he would have been more careful.

  It was as if they’d forgotten about him as the bickered amongst themselves. He considered picking up the book and slinking out, but Aunt Tilly shook her head at him. And besides, he was fascinated by what they were saying and wanted to hear more.

  “And your grandmother is long gone,” Uncle Julian added, looking to the heavens as if thankful for that fact. “Sorin is honorable and level-headed. It’s why you left him in charge.”

  His father sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t leave him in charge. He was the only one suited— we’re getting off track.”

  “Not if we’re discussing Owen visiting his relatives in Moldavia,” Uncle Julian said reasonably.

  Owen would have been grateful but he suspected it was only to get him away from Ariana before she was infected as well. He nearly snorted at their willful ignorance.

  “There’s no need for discussion,” he butted in. “I’m of an age to do what I want with my life. And I want to go somewhere that I’m not constantly lied to.”

  Both his mother and Aunt Tilly sucked in a breath and his mother ran to him. She threw her arms around his shoulders, begging him to reconsider and warning him of the dangers. She seemed convinced she would never see him again and for a heart wrenching moment he wondered if it might be true.

  He had no idea what the future held, but he knew he couldn’t carry on without learning to control his powers. He couldn’t rely on “them” anymore. Ariana had been drunk when she said it, but she was right. They weren’t his friends.

  They had played along until now but once they stopped helping him, the consequences turned out to be dire. He couldn’t trust in his own abilities, if he ever had any of his own, anymore. If Maria had never opened her eyes he wouldn’t have been able to forgive himself. As it was, he feared the poor girl would be permanently affected by his sloppy spellwork.

  “We’ll discuss this more later,” his father said, dismissing him.

  Owen waited until he was in the hall before he shrugged. Let them think there was more to say if that’s what they needed to believe.

  Ariana stood huddled by a side table, looking like she might cry. He prayed she wouldn’t because he wasn’t in the mood for it and he feared he’d start, too.

  “You’re not really leaving?” she asked, falling into step beside him as he thundered toward his room. “All the way to Moldavia on your own?”

  “I can’t risk anything again until I know what I’m doing. I nearly killed Maria.”

  She grabbed his arm and he dragged her along, not slowing. “No, of course you didn’t. That was— she was overtired and upset. I’ve even fainted once when I got upset.”

  This blatant lie slowed him in his tracks. “No you didn’t.” Her sheepish smirk showed him he was right. “And fainting is one thing. Her heart wasn’t beating. Are you going to lie again and say you were mistaken? The girl was blue, Ariana.” He shivered with disgust and fear. “I won’t say another word of a hex until someone experienced teaches me how to control whatever’s in me.”

  Her face paled. “Nothing’s in you,” she said weakly. She drifted behind on the stairs but caught up with him again outside his room. Her eyes sparkled with tears but her mouth was set in stubborn anger. “Nothing is in you, you hear me? We’ve never done anything wrong.”

  He sighed, hand on the door handle. “You’ve never done anything wrong,” he said. “Foolish, yes, but probably not wrong. But I’ve been letting things happen for years now. Since we
first found the book. I didn’t know something or someone was doing things for me or through me. Don’t you see? I don’t know. All these years I’ve been fiddling with things I don’t understand. Remember when we used that awful spell to go forward in time?”

  She nodded, hugging her arms around her middle. “That was terrible.” She shuddered then shook her head. “But I’ve got a better one now. And there’s the portal.”

  He sighed and opened his door. “That’s not my point. That thing I did that day to keep you from feeling burned again could have killed either one of us. I can’t even count the times I could have killed either one of us. I’m through with blithe ignorance.” When she didn’t answer, only stared at him, he took her by the shoulders. “Come with me,” he suggested, liking the idea of company on the long journey.

  It would be them together as a team again, as they always planned. He could see by her face she considered it and pretended indifference.

  “Either way, I’m packing. So, come in and be helpful or get lost.”

  Chapter 21

  “Why?” Tilly demanded to the stunned room. “Why is it here?”

  She stared at the book, her stomach a mass of snakes writhing and biting her insides. Even as much as she wanted to chuck it in the fire, the pages called out to her to turn them, seek the wonders that lay within. It was the same as the last time she used it to cobble together the spell that opened the portal.

  That stupid spell had almost made her lose everything. The thought of Ariana touching that foul book and finding that spell made her fall backwards into the nearest chair.

  She looked at Serena who had her face in her hands. At Kostya who looked like he had seen a ghost. Perhaps he had. The book had been in his evil grandmother’s hands for years.

  He had to transport it back with him when he came home from Moldavia after they finally freed his family’s village from her wicked, unnaturally long reign. It was the Alexander’s family book, passed down through the years and added to by each generation that found themselves to have magical powers. Ashford’s sister had bargained it away to the Povests in exchange for Kostya’s lifelong curse to be lifted. The grandmother lied and their lives had ultimately been destroyed. Kostya had been able to rebuild, but with the strictest of promises to himself. Never, ever use magic again. Tilly couldn’t imagine what was going through his mind having to face the book once again.